A year ago my mother died

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My mother died a year ago, at the same time this late August.  She had cancer of the pancreas.  Which is pretty much a death sentence.  She did not realize this until the biopsy, after which the doctor gave her two weeks to live.  And that diagnosis was right on target…two weeks later she passed away. 

People are justifiably terrorized by cancer.  It is the most awful thing imaginable.  I saw my mom turn yellow with jaundice, her bowels stopped moving, and she began to suffer unrelenting pain.  To see your mom in torture is the most horrible experience I would not wish on anyone.  But every day people face this fate along with their families.

Both my father and mother had a legal document created where they could deny extreme measures to prolong life.  When my mom was in the hospital, they wanted to put her on life support.  My dad gave them this document.  Nothing was going to save her life, and both my mom and dad had the courage to accept her death.

We will all die, our only hope is that is comes peacefully.  My mom was actually fortunate in that she had only a brief time with her disease.  My father is a practical man.  He experienced WWII in Europe as a child and saw many horrible things during the war, much death.  My mom’s passing was harder then anything he knew, having to endure his beloved wife’s lingering death.  And he had to hand over the document to end her life without extreme measures.  That is a hard thing, a tough thing.  Yet he did not want to see her suffer any more.  Dad is a strong guy.

My father is an agnostic.  He neither believes or disbelieves in a spiritual existence.  Being a practical man, he said he will only know for sure when his time comes.  Yet, my father told me that he believed mom visited him a week later after her death.  He saw a pillar of light that slowly moved around him, with the scent of lilacs.  Not being a person susceptible to illusions, I take this experience seriously.

The purpose of my blog, its mission statement, is to encourage people to hope in a spiritual existence, regardless of anyone’s religion or theology.  All the stories I tell are true, names are changed in respect  of privacy.  If only one ghost story is true, if only one out-of-body experience is true, it means the spiritual world is not an illusion, but an objective reality.  That is a comforting thought.

Here is my original story a year ago:


7 Responses to “A year ago my mother died”

  1. Tharon Says:

    Thank you so much for writing this. Death is hard and, of course is so very hard, and so very sad, for us to bear. As you and you dad are sure of your Mothers revisit to your dad, so am I as I had a similar experience when my mother passed away. It was very many years ago now, but I still sometimes just out of no where, get the sweet scent of spring flowers, even when there are none. I know this is my mother.

  2. David Says:

    Hi Tharon,
    My mom was very attached to her family, so I should not be surprised she visited us. At the time I wondered if we’d experience anything; I really didn’t expect it. I always thought that happened to other people. I recommend those who had their loved one pass away recently, be sensitive and open to the possibility of contact. Our loved one may try to say goodbye, but if we have closed minds and are preoccupied only with material things, we may never realize they tried to make contact. We should not let such an opportunity go unnoticed!

  3. Ed Says:

    I lost my mother when I was 12 from colon cancer; it started there and it spread to her lypnodes, lungs and back. My mother suffered for two years and seeing her in pain was very difficult for me. It amazes me that it is still as fatal 20 years later and still requires the same treatment of chemo therapy. I firmly beleive a cure is available but not profitable; the more drawn out way is more lucrative for the health industry. I am very sorry to hear about your mom and her passing; the truth is we all have to die but knowing this does not make it any easier. I beleive in God not because of faith alone but because of research I have done on the net. One example is the mark of the beast which is 666 and the first apple computer priced at 666.66; is this a coincidence? The symbol they use is a bitten apple and Adam and eve chose the tree of knowledge over the tree of life so the connection is obvious. Why is the UN building in Parliment modeled after the tower of babel? The story in the Bible has the tower being stopped by God since it was in defiance of his authority. So is the building being built a coincidence? I can go on and on but it all comes down to the fact that God exists and Satan does also.

  4. Ed Says:

    OH and great site by the way I love reading about the type of subjects it covers.

  5. David Says:

    Hi Ed,
    I am sorry about your mom, even when it was long ago. It is never easy to lose a parent. As for God existing, I think the best overall evidence is the near-death experience so many people had. We have glimpses of life beyond death, and it is pretty good evidence as far as I am concerned.

  6. Janice Remington Says:

    You are quite mistaken that the Dead return to “visit us”.

    Obviously, you are not a Christian.

    Scripture says “The Dead know Nothing”.

    They do not return, they do not visit, they are not lost and roaming this Earth. They are gone forever.

    Read the Bible. It will teach you alot.

  7. David Says:

    Hi Janice,
    Thanks for your thoughts. According to some views, the spirits of the dead may linger before they go to their final resting place, whatever that may be. There is a time in between physical death and our final destination. This is not just speculation, but is revealed from the near-death experience. During then we may be visited by our departed loved ones. Here is the story of a friend of mine who had a near-death out-of-body experience.


    Now, once someone has permanently left the world of time and space, can they ever communicate with the living again? That I don’t know. But I do know there is a window of opportunity just after death, and that window can be open for longer then we imagine. That is where ghosts come from.

    I think there is nothing whatsoever un-Christian about this idea. The Bible can be interpreted in many different ways.

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